#2 Hardware Stores

When you look around a hardware store, you see a lot of weirdly dressed, impatient white people. It is a point of pride for white people to try to do difficult things that they suck at, instead of hiring people who actually know what they are doing. If you buy a house previously owned by white people, you will spend at least 5 years undoing all of the crappy do it yourself jobs they worked on over the 20 years they lived there, and then finished in the last two weeks before they listed the place. If you are white, you will spend the next 20 years and two weeks repeating the process. To do this, they frequent hardware stores where they buy products that they presume will make up for their lack of skill. This is delusional.

#1 Coffee

White people like coffee. No doubt about it. We build our lives on it. Note: we like coffee. Not double soy latte cappucino shade grown goat's shit fertalised.... you get the picture. We want to go into a place, and say, "coffee", and get a decent cup of joe. If I could order some complicated coffeeish beverage with a name the length of a novel, I wouldn't need a damn coffee, now would I? And we white people have the old fashioned crazy idea that the waitress should notice when it's getting a little cold or a little low in the cup, and give us a "refill". That's how important coffee is. One word is all you need for a full, life saving, inspiration driving hit of morning sunshine. And white people like a real cup, not a paper cup. If we want something in a bowl, we order soup.